CULTURE
New York City: The Cage of Youth
By: Lianna Gourmos Edited by: Ava pettigrew
Carrie Bradshaw, relationship advice columnist played by Sarah Jessica Parker, stars in Sex and the City (1998,) a well-loved television series surrounding the ups and downs of dating life and womanhood in New York City. The show has never truly left the media scope, but today, Sex and the City is especially popular. The series first aired in the 90s; at the height of individualistic fashion and embracing the female experience. Sex and the City’s true hook, however, is the appeal of the New York City setting, where everybody seems to be young, attractive, and successful – at least in the eyes of modern social media users. Partying culture, anti-aging crazes, and the cutthroat fight for status all emerge from underneath the surface of New York City’s glitz and glamor, affecting society’s view on traditional practices and marriage as opposed to the single life.
Alongside Carrie, the other leading ladies of Sex and the City include promiscuous Samatha Jones, somewhat prudish Charlotte York, and pessimistic Miranda Hobbes. Throughout the series, the nearly middle-aged women search for different types of romantic relationships, whilst embracing the youthful, carefree energy of the single life in the city. While the characters go clubbing on the weekends, explore fashion trends, and pursue successful careers, society views them as immature due to expectations at their age. During the 1990s, when Sex and the City first aired, women were expected to marry and have children in early adulthood. Today, there is much less stigma surrounding older wives and mothers, but the pressure to “settle down” at a relatively young age is still prominent and is one of the main female expectations that Sex and the City combats.
Sex and the City’s appeal to nightlife in New York City is alluring, as Carrie and her friends frequently go out on the town in hopes of meeting potential suitors. The show makes the city club scene look incredibly fashionable, so it’s no surprise that new generations that have rediscovered Sex and the City are drawn to its settings. “Nightlife is just constantly about romanticizing some bygone era that [today’s kids] weren’t a part of,” says Brock Colyar, author of New York Magazine’s nightlife newsletter. “People are just constantly thinking that what is past is better than what’s happening now.” Given the vast underage club populations, it is increasingly frowned upon for older people to go out partying, especially in New York City. Married people may fear backlash from their spouses, family, or even other friends who are in relationships due to the conservative nature of the traditional life. On the other hand, single people are “excused” from this criticism as a means to embrace the party lifestyle to take advantage of their youth and find a vast variety of possible partners. However, the older a single person is, the more pressure they feel to get married, as seen in Sex and the City. This results in an endless cycle of the unrealistic choice between having single fun and pursuing a serious relationship, consequently making society wonder if young people’s infatuation with New York City nightlife is causing a rift between single and married people.
As Carrie and her friends become more and more eager to “settle down,” New York City continues to prove itself as a tricky city for dating. In contrast to early Sex and the City viewers, today’s generations better accept the characters’ dilemma, as relationship norms have changed drastically. The Sex and the City cast should serve as a reminder that everyone’s love life looks different, yet the show’s newer audience is becoming more and more convinced that they can only live their romantic life to the fullest when they are young. Therefore, something far more dystopian comes along with the more accepting mindset regarding traditional married life: the fear of aging, which is at an all-time high in New York City today due to social media filters and accessibility to cosmetic enhancement procedures. Board-certified dermatologist Margarita Lolis, M.D., based just across the bridge from the Big Apple, says that “social media has changed the landscape of skincare entirely…filters create a false ideal of beauty.” Imperfection-ridding filters on platforms such as TikTok and Instagram show people what they could look like, thus resulting in insecurities that had never existed before the digital age. Lolis also points to the issue of fillers and how “suddenly, everyone wants to reverse their fillers and look more natural.” MedSpas are on every corner of New York City, making fillers and other minimally invasive cosmetic procedures, such as botox, far more accessible to its dwellers. Taking these not-so-small steps to appear younger creates an even more competitive dating pool, and completely dismisses Sex and the City’s message that being youthfully attractive is not the key to finding love.
Despite their somewhat failing love lives, Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda thrive in their careers and emulate the ever-so-prevalent work ethic of New York City. Although they are admired for their ambition, the stereotype that a woman cannot balance both a career and a relationship overshadows the characters’ successes. This mindset is subconsciously ingested by Sex and the City’s younger viewers and shines a negative light on traditional relationships. In the show, characters Charlotte and Miranda have opposing opinions on marriage. Charlotte, an art dealer who dreams of owning an art gallery someday, is eager to marry and have children. On the other hand, Miranda, a cynical lawyer, believes marriage is problematic and fears commitment. Charlotte and Miranda criticize each other throughout the series, with their dynamic highlighting the stigma surrounding the stereotypical roles of women and how they differ within New York City’s cutthroat environment. It seems impossible to avoid backlash as a woman in the city’s workforce, as women are thirty percent less likely to be called for a job interview than men with the same skills due to the influence of having children. For some, this unfortunate reality means staying single is the price for a higher career success rate. “New York is a highly competitive environment…It makes people less interested in commitment,” Upper East Sider Scott Gulbransen tells the New York Post. Now, with Sex and the City’s new audience being swayed by the romanticization of being young and single in New York City, will even more people decide to sacrifice marriage for an esteemed job?
Sex and the City’s underlying message, that youth is not the secret ingredient to love and success, has been greatly ignored due to the media’s glamorized image of New York City. Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda were created to be feminist inspirations, yet today, they instead act as stereotypes of what living in the city looks like. Young people are more easily influenced than ever before as a result of rapid trend circulation online, and therefore, their exposure to nostalgic clubbing culture, de-aging crazes, and career competition could spell danger for future generations’ self-esteem, especially in relationships.


